I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
