I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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