apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
