How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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