He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
