I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
