You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
