So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
