So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Randomize
