"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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