Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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