I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize