Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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