went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
