you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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