you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
