Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize