am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
