So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
