They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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