Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.

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(720): View more from Colorado

You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar

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(702): View more from Nevada

whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.

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(517): View more from Michigan

My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough

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(831): View more from California

YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.

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(310): View more from California

I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?

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(201): View more from New Jersey

If I had your ass I would rule the world

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