That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize