Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
