HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Randomize
