i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
