We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
