What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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