Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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