Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm too high and old for this...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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