Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
