Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
