Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
