Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
