My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
