Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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