you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
