Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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