you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
