then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
