From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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