dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
