I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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