Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
