Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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