When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize