She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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