happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
