Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
