As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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