Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
