Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
