oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
