she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
