i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
