we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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