And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
