So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He? As in you personified your dick?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You are a genius and a whore.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
