i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
