Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
This baby is an asshole
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
