Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
