i love accidental penises.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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