Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
