i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
