If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize