16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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