Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
