She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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