okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
My dick has a subreddit
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
The adults are the big ones right?
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